Part 31: Beast Within 10: Warhammer 40k Joke

Part 10: Warhammer 40k Joke

Christ I keep falling behind. Sorry folks. Well, back to Not-Tim Curry!


“Grace, you ever feel…not so fresh?”


Ok, seriously, this is a horror game right?


All right, well that cut away was kinda horrifying.


Not so much.


What


The


FUCK??


Oh Christ, they went with a weird ass dream sequence. Well, back to basics. Let’s check the news.


So Gabriel interprets that there was another wolf killing…in downtown Munich. How fucking big was Munich in 1996 anyway? Well that’s a little harder to find out, but these days it’s apparently populated by over a million people with an average of 4280 people per square kilometer. Yikes. Especially because this one was found at Marienplatz right near the city hall. Ballsy fucker. Well, I’ve got no better ideas. To Marienplatz!


So first let’s go see Ubergrau…or, actually, he tells Gabriel that he can just call him Harry. He has Grace’s package, so we’ll have Gabe look at that in a bit. I mean that because Gabriel’s an idiot and won’t open his mail now. We can’t ask Harry anything else, so let’s go crime scene hunting.


OH GEE IT’S RIGHT OUTSIDE THE CREEPY HUNTING CLUB I WONDER IF THERE IS A CONNECTION? I mean, really?? Aside from the lackluster acting, the big problem I’m having in this game is the complete and utter lack of subtlety.


At any rate, we get our first look at Kommisar Leber. Just don’t turn around, Gabe. We try using Gabriel’s business card to get his attention, but he looks at Gabriel and then goes back to investigating. Asshole. So what else could I use…hmm…hey, the evidence report that proves it’s not the wolves from the zoo!


Success!


Not really. He shouts at Gabriel for a minute, saying that he does not have time for Gabriel’s nonsense, and leaves. Hmmm…I have an idea! He’s being an asshole and the press is here, I wonder…


Oh this is fucking priceless.


Gabriel goes on record, very loudly about how the hair found at the Huber farm is reddish brown, and the escaped wolves are grey. And also how the paw prints do not match CANIS LUPIS LUPIS!! At which point Der Kommissar tackles Gabriel out of frame.


He finally, and very angrily, agrees to meet Gabriel at his office later.


Once at his office, Leber proceeds TO CONSTANTLY SHOUT AT GABRIEL for the most part. Dude is a very angry man, and at his size should probably watch his blood pressure. Anywho, Gabriel makes a deal for information, he tells Leber what he knows, and all Leber has to tell him is standard press release stuff.


Leber grudgingly agrees. So first thing’s first: right away, Gabriel points out that there’s something very wrong with the pattern now forming. All the other murders were at least a 40 minute drive from Munich proper, and now here’s one smack dab in the middle of downtown. Also, Gabriel reflects that wolves won’t kill near their lair unless they have to. Maybe he’s not quite as dumb as this game is reflecting.
In addition, he correctly guesses that the autopsies show that the killer is not a “wolf” but is definitely canine of some sort, possibly a hybrid.


Cut that out! Leber is also convinced from the autopsies that there is only one animal based on the tooth impressions and saliva samples. And he is personally convinced that the zoo wolves are not responsible, but the police don’t want that to get out yet for fear of instigating further panic or something.

Well, all that shouting took a lot out of me, NEXT TIME: The quest to open Grace’s package! (Oh get your minds out of the gutter you pervs.)